Life teaches you great lessons every now and then. Sometimes, these are subtle experiences while some other times they are overtures to a life-changing revelation. While sometimes you are inured to these changes, some other times you are left devastated and bewildered.
A new facet of living life has recently found its way into my very own set of life philosophies which I have embraced, endured (sometimes!) and cherished all through – SANS EXPECTATIONS !!
Confused? Well, here’s the deal. For the past several months, there have been innumerable instances where I have felt hurt or upset or angry. Initially, I tried to parry off such feelings and force my thoughts into some semblance of order as I didn’t want to jeopardize what I had over some petty issues. Sadly, though, I couldn’t seem to clear my head off these feelings.
But, then a strange thought flitted through my mind. Retrospecting into those moments of the past made me realize a very important thing. I had found the wicked culpable behind all the disquietude and those pangs of anxiety – Expectations!
Had I not been expecting so much out of a certain individual or a situation, I would have been a much happier soul all these months. It the root cause of all the discomfort one ever has to experience with someone/ something. Put away that feeling of ‘it should have been this way’, ‘you should rather have done this’ or ‘I thought you/it would turn out to be this’ and the ilk.
One might argue that without expectations, we would just be living in a world where it is every man for himself, a world without feeling for others as some believe with love and care come expectations. True, maybe! But problem comes when the other half of your expectation (!) doesn’t reciprocate likewise and you are just left feeling hurt and sorry for yourself.
Believe me when I say, the lesser you expect something of someone, the happier you are. Think of the last time you felt upset or hurt - was it not because you had anticipated something different out of someone/something. Notwithstanding the fact that it is difficult to take in and at the risk of sounding too utopian, I would want to live by this now on – where my only expectations are from myself and I have no qualms about the fact that I would never want to hurt myself, ever!
Well, can’t say about you, but I, sure, am feeling a lot better now - sans anger, sans resentment, sans expectations – just PLACID.
Cheers,
Piyush.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
C'est la vie .. Gimme a break!
Life is getting tougher by the day and I am going crazy by the hour. So much to do and so little idea, rather so little of all those things that it takes, to do what I had long planned. This is surely not the kind of life I had expected to be living when I joined this company and was exhilarated to see my name on the final list of placed students. The chill that ran down my spine then is still fresh!
Hardly had I imagined that location of posting can play such a major role in the coming years. I am stuck up at this place in a remote corner of one of the BIMARU states of India, in a township which inhabits not more than 300 souls. The nearest city or a town to this place is nothing less than 200 kilometers and the township roads are deserted after 9 in the night.
Some of my colleagues at work surprisingly find this place to be an all-enriching experience for the heart and mind away from the hustle and bustle of cities, no trace of pollution and greenery all around. I am disinclined to acquiesce to this pathetic rant.
Working in shifts has also taken its toll. It is more like living life in some cutoff part of the world where you don’t get to see familiar faces for a long time. My weekly offs coincide with Saturdays or Sundays once in 2 months. So, the holidays get even lonelier with not even colleagues around. The best cuisine that is on offer is one at the countryside dhabas and McDonalds and Pizza Hut ads on television are like adding salt to injuries.
But then I resort to one of the most sought after words in times of despair, C’est la vie. That seemed to work pretty well for a few days but even that sounds like one of the most redundant and stupid things to ponder over now.
I bought myself a DSLR thinking that maybe this lonely, so-called peaceful and extravagant greenery would have something to offer on that front. Guess what, this place sucked up to that task in not more than over a couple of months. Come World Cup, IPL or a new season of Roadies or Splitsvilla, nothing seems to lighten my mood. Guess the dent is becoming so indelible with time that beauty in anything what-so-ever is far from noticeable.
I made some great new friends in the company but I was made to believe that certain relationships were attributes of my childishness and naïve perspective of looking at life. It feels like such a slap on the face when you are made to understand that all you have been thinking and doing is, perhaps, immature. Such conversations gave me something to mope upon for a certain amount of time and then it was even more depressing to be at this place.
So I decided to work on the plan I had forged for myself back in the college days. Get through with graduation with a decent CGPA, find myself a job, work for a couple of years gaining some worthwhile experience (hardly any though!) and then find my way through one of the top MBA colleges thereafter.
With Facebook deactivated, Gmail Chat turned off, Cell phone always on silent or switched off mode, the only thing that is keeping me going right now is, perhaps, visualising myself in one of those elite management colleges a year from now.
Let’s see how that works out!
Hardly had I imagined that location of posting can play such a major role in the coming years. I am stuck up at this place in a remote corner of one of the BIMARU states of India, in a township which inhabits not more than 300 souls. The nearest city or a town to this place is nothing less than 200 kilometers and the township roads are deserted after 9 in the night.
Some of my colleagues at work surprisingly find this place to be an all-enriching experience for the heart and mind away from the hustle and bustle of cities, no trace of pollution and greenery all around. I am disinclined to acquiesce to this pathetic rant.
Working in shifts has also taken its toll. It is more like living life in some cutoff part of the world where you don’t get to see familiar faces for a long time. My weekly offs coincide with Saturdays or Sundays once in 2 months. So, the holidays get even lonelier with not even colleagues around. The best cuisine that is on offer is one at the countryside dhabas and McDonalds and Pizza Hut ads on television are like adding salt to injuries.
But then I resort to one of the most sought after words in times of despair, C’est la vie. That seemed to work pretty well for a few days but even that sounds like one of the most redundant and stupid things to ponder over now.
I bought myself a DSLR thinking that maybe this lonely, so-called peaceful and extravagant greenery would have something to offer on that front. Guess what, this place sucked up to that task in not more than over a couple of months. Come World Cup, IPL or a new season of Roadies or Splitsvilla, nothing seems to lighten my mood. Guess the dent is becoming so indelible with time that beauty in anything what-so-ever is far from noticeable.
I made some great new friends in the company but I was made to believe that certain relationships were attributes of my childishness and naïve perspective of looking at life. It feels like such a slap on the face when you are made to understand that all you have been thinking and doing is, perhaps, immature. Such conversations gave me something to mope upon for a certain amount of time and then it was even more depressing to be at this place.
So I decided to work on the plan I had forged for myself back in the college days. Get through with graduation with a decent CGPA, find myself a job, work for a couple of years gaining some worthwhile experience (hardly any though!) and then find my way through one of the top MBA colleges thereafter.
With Facebook deactivated, Gmail Chat turned off, Cell phone always on silent or switched off mode, the only thing that is keeping me going right now is, perhaps, visualising myself in one of those elite management colleges a year from now.
Let’s see how that works out!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Hola, people !
It has been a very long break since my last post and I regret that but there were certain issues which had kept me preoccupied and concerned for the past few months. Even as I write this post, they haunt me!
So be it, I have decided to give myself a break from pondering over such issues viz. my career path, how to get the maximum out of my present job, where do I see myself in the next 5 years, improve upon my existing commitments and relationships (particularly one in that!) and so on.
I came across a very interesting and insightful mantra recently which reads:
“All the work one has to do expands to fill up the entire time available for its completion.” True, isn’t it? Set yourself a deadline and let’s see you complete the work before it. And the bigger problem is, we don’t usually set ourselves deadlines, rather it is that last notch in the timeline after which any failure in the completion of the task leaves us dead!
So, I have devised an easy way out of it. Let not such issues (like the ones mentioned above) which involve more of predictive, imaginative and fatigue causing thought processes take up my entire day because more often than not, they end up in frustrating inanities. Let these issues suck up to me only for that amount of time that I decide for them to! Rest of the day I live life!
It is often said that life is a journey and true happiness can only be attained when one enjoys the journey and not always looks out for the destination, coz there isn’t one! Sounds like stale philosophy stuff, right? But it is stale only because of repeated reading and not overuse!
I remember the time when I was back in college cramming courses (or should I say worried) to find myself a good job …. Or maybe a little further back to the time when I was toiling in my 11th and 12th to make it to a good college for my graduation … A little earlier, perhaps, when there was this tension of standing first in my school in the X Board exams …. Or lets jump right back to where I am now, thinking about making the most of my time at this job and then finding admission in a reputed management college for even better working avenues..
Do you see the problem there? It has always been about planning and more planning, to succeed in the next endeavor I am about to take up (more so by virtue of being a Libran, perhaps), waiting and more waiting for something even better.
Although, it is not wrong to be conscious of what you want from life, and work diligently for it, but the exertion of the endeavor should not cost us the present. Too much of anything is bad. As of now, in my constant effort to excel at my present job in the least possible amount of time and then find a seat in one of those few reputed MBA colleges in India or abroad, I sometimes feel that I am compromising on enjoying the moment at hand. After all, it was the feeling of a lifetime to see my name on the final list of the few selected candidates for this job when the company had come on-campus. Recapitulating those moments sends a wave of thrill down my spine even today.
The fact is, there is always something better available. Aim for it. Strive for it. Achieve it. Search for something better again. Reiterate the loop over and over again. But learn to include in the iteration of the loop the very important code of ‘Enjoying and cherishing what you have already achieved.’
Without the last part, it is just a boring walk, include it and life becomes a cherishable journey. Don’t always be worried about your next move and forgot to live the moment at hand. Be a little mad always!
Fiqrana!
Piyush.
So be it, I have decided to give myself a break from pondering over such issues viz. my career path, how to get the maximum out of my present job, where do I see myself in the next 5 years, improve upon my existing commitments and relationships (particularly one in that!) and so on.
I came across a very interesting and insightful mantra recently which reads:
“All the work one has to do expands to fill up the entire time available for its completion.” True, isn’t it? Set yourself a deadline and let’s see you complete the work before it. And the bigger problem is, we don’t usually set ourselves deadlines, rather it is that last notch in the timeline after which any failure in the completion of the task leaves us dead!
So, I have devised an easy way out of it. Let not such issues (like the ones mentioned above) which involve more of predictive, imaginative and fatigue causing thought processes take up my entire day because more often than not, they end up in frustrating inanities. Let these issues suck up to me only for that amount of time that I decide for them to! Rest of the day I live life!
It is often said that life is a journey and true happiness can only be attained when one enjoys the journey and not always looks out for the destination, coz there isn’t one! Sounds like stale philosophy stuff, right? But it is stale only because of repeated reading and not overuse!
I remember the time when I was back in college cramming courses (or should I say worried) to find myself a good job …. Or maybe a little further back to the time when I was toiling in my 11th and 12th to make it to a good college for my graduation … A little earlier, perhaps, when there was this tension of standing first in my school in the X Board exams …. Or lets jump right back to where I am now, thinking about making the most of my time at this job and then finding admission in a reputed management college for even better working avenues..
Do you see the problem there? It has always been about planning and more planning, to succeed in the next endeavor I am about to take up (more so by virtue of being a Libran, perhaps), waiting and more waiting for something even better.
Although, it is not wrong to be conscious of what you want from life, and work diligently for it, but the exertion of the endeavor should not cost us the present. Too much of anything is bad. As of now, in my constant effort to excel at my present job in the least possible amount of time and then find a seat in one of those few reputed MBA colleges in India or abroad, I sometimes feel that I am compromising on enjoying the moment at hand. After all, it was the feeling of a lifetime to see my name on the final list of the few selected candidates for this job when the company had come on-campus. Recapitulating those moments sends a wave of thrill down my spine even today.
The fact is, there is always something better available. Aim for it. Strive for it. Achieve it. Search for something better again. Reiterate the loop over and over again. But learn to include in the iteration of the loop the very important code of ‘Enjoying and cherishing what you have already achieved.’
Without the last part, it is just a boring walk, include it and life becomes a cherishable journey. Don’t always be worried about your next move and forgot to live the moment at hand. Be a little mad always!
Fiqrana!
Piyush.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
A Lesson learnt...
Don’t we always tend to find mistakes, complain about petty things that hardly matter and try to project how miserable and unfair life is?
Well, I find myself doing that at times. But I believe I have learnt a very important lesson in life. The incident may not seem substantial but, to me, it sure was a revelation.
Only the other day, I was dining with my friends at a pretty decent place, 5-star food I would say. But I couldn’t refrain myself from complaining about the oily food and routine menu of the place. I had a hefty discussion on the issue and was pretty disappointed with the dining arrangements. I came back to my room with glimpses of the chat still lodged in my mind.
As I stood in the balcony gazing at the city and enjoying the warm dusky breeze, I witnessed a rather sorrow sight. The backdoor neighbourhood inhabits a group of daily wage workers and labours. I can safely presume that the children in this neighbourhood cannot afford schooling. There were these bunch of kids, 8-10 years old, who were fighting for a share in the lunch, which was nothing but plain rice and dal mixed in a large dish with a lot of water, apparently. The kid who had the bowl had a look of satiation to the core. He seemed to enjoy every bit of the mouthful he swigged as did the other kids. The sight left me awe-struck.
I began to wonder how insignificant that chat was. I had the privilege of such fine dining and yet all I cared was about the irregularities of the place and all that remained with me after was the disappointment. Was it really worth it? I believe not!
Some may argue that it is about what we deserve after all our efforts we put in, what we are entitled for and what we can demand. True, maybe, but would we not be much happier if we don’t spat over such little things? Wouldn’t we be much better off not complaining rather try to find a way around?
It is always easier to find good in what we have if we look at those less privileged souls who haven’t been blessed with all that we possess right now. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive for better but the exertion of the endeavour shouldn’t overleap the enjoyment in all the little things that are worth cherishing. Those kids might not have all the tang in that dish but they were satisfied and happy and that is what matters.
This post has a very simple yet significant message. One may say that it is a stale philosophical stuff. But, that was an afternoon I would not want to ever forget. Perhaps, this would work as a log for me if not anything more.
Do give it a thought. If you have, it is time to start working on it. Well, I have!
Stop complaining and start living only to see the beauty in all the things with and around us.
Cheers,
Piyush.
Well, I find myself doing that at times. But I believe I have learnt a very important lesson in life. The incident may not seem substantial but, to me, it sure was a revelation.
Only the other day, I was dining with my friends at a pretty decent place, 5-star food I would say. But I couldn’t refrain myself from complaining about the oily food and routine menu of the place. I had a hefty discussion on the issue and was pretty disappointed with the dining arrangements. I came back to my room with glimpses of the chat still lodged in my mind.
As I stood in the balcony gazing at the city and enjoying the warm dusky breeze, I witnessed a rather sorrow sight. The backdoor neighbourhood inhabits a group of daily wage workers and labours. I can safely presume that the children in this neighbourhood cannot afford schooling. There were these bunch of kids, 8-10 years old, who were fighting for a share in the lunch, which was nothing but plain rice and dal mixed in a large dish with a lot of water, apparently. The kid who had the bowl had a look of satiation to the core. He seemed to enjoy every bit of the mouthful he swigged as did the other kids. The sight left me awe-struck.
I began to wonder how insignificant that chat was. I had the privilege of such fine dining and yet all I cared was about the irregularities of the place and all that remained with me after was the disappointment. Was it really worth it? I believe not!
Some may argue that it is about what we deserve after all our efforts we put in, what we are entitled for and what we can demand. True, maybe, but would we not be much happier if we don’t spat over such little things? Wouldn’t we be much better off not complaining rather try to find a way around?
It is always easier to find good in what we have if we look at those less privileged souls who haven’t been blessed with all that we possess right now. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive for better but the exertion of the endeavour shouldn’t overleap the enjoyment in all the little things that are worth cherishing. Those kids might not have all the tang in that dish but they were satisfied and happy and that is what matters.
This post has a very simple yet significant message. One may say that it is a stale philosophical stuff. But, that was an afternoon I would not want to ever forget. Perhaps, this would work as a log for me if not anything more.
Do give it a thought. If you have, it is time to start working on it. Well, I have!
Stop complaining and start living only to see the beauty in all the things with and around us.
Cheers,
Piyush.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
What defines us!
Life is a journey. At every step there are crossroads and then there are dilemmas to find the right or just answer to the questions that face us. It is often said that these decisions decide what we are and what we become as we travel this arduous yet ravishing consortium of paths/challenges called life. Great minds have defined people by the meaning of their life which is the result of all the decisions we take over time and the more justified or ethical these decisions appear to be, the more meaningful the journey is said to be. To be concise, it is believed that our actions define our lives which define us.
To me, it would only be surmising to define oneself on the above said terms. I don’t, completely, approve of the idea that actions define someone. I understand that it is in the innate nature of human beings to always challenge the established societal norms and treat any well-understood idea as facile. Human instinct is always uncouth, unethical and evil and given a chance to unleash this force with no obligations what-so-ever, we would not have to restrict ourselves the way we do. As we mature, we realize that the world does not behave on first instincts and we slowly understand that eventually one has to put on this cloak of hypocrisy called ‘moral or ethical living’. No matter what we think, the outer demeanour should be justified in every sense of the word and over time we get so used to this idea of noble thinking that we actually start believing that we are moral or ethical sapiens.
Let’s take a simple scenario. Say a man X has a friend Y who is shot and will die if not taken to a hospital immediately. Also if X stays it is more than likely that he also will be shot and be dead in no time as he is a witness and a potential threat to the perpetrators. My first instinct would tell me to run away from there and leave the dying man on his own. Doing this would sound very unmoral and may be people will call me coward. However, running away from there only shows that I value my life and am not ready to so easily let it go for anyone. I am sure you have started judging me already but for once throw away and look beyond your hood of so-called morality.
More so, PMS or adultery does not sound that bad to me at first thought( I am only enjoying my life in either cases and taking a sidewalk from the normal. A little pondering folks!) but this euphemised hypocrisy has so badly taken over me that just the idea of these concepts sounding right to me seems sinful. At every step in our day-to-day life we idealize and promote this hypocrisy.
Perhaps if everyone starts to act on their instincts the world would become more chaotic and unsafe place to dwell but I am not looking at the big picture here. I just want to somehow rationalize some of my unpleasant thoughts which make me feel low. Lately I have been getting this feeling that humans are designed to be this way. It is only how well we train ourselves to overcome these coarse thoughts.
In a nutshell, my actions don’t define me as a person rather they only show how well I understand my role as a social being. It is only ironic that society tends to place higher regards for these hypocrite men who call themselves ethical and just.
Do a moral check on yourselves and see if I am wrong. Let your wildest thoughts take shape and tell me they are unfathomable. If you still think your instincts are pristinely moral then, perhaps, you are sunken so deep in this mire that you have actually forgotten the taste of fresh air!
Cheers,
Piyush.
To me, it would only be surmising to define oneself on the above said terms. I don’t, completely, approve of the idea that actions define someone. I understand that it is in the innate nature of human beings to always challenge the established societal norms and treat any well-understood idea as facile. Human instinct is always uncouth, unethical and evil and given a chance to unleash this force with no obligations what-so-ever, we would not have to restrict ourselves the way we do. As we mature, we realize that the world does not behave on first instincts and we slowly understand that eventually one has to put on this cloak of hypocrisy called ‘moral or ethical living’. No matter what we think, the outer demeanour should be justified in every sense of the word and over time we get so used to this idea of noble thinking that we actually start believing that we are moral or ethical sapiens.
Let’s take a simple scenario. Say a man X has a friend Y who is shot and will die if not taken to a hospital immediately. Also if X stays it is more than likely that he also will be shot and be dead in no time as he is a witness and a potential threat to the perpetrators. My first instinct would tell me to run away from there and leave the dying man on his own. Doing this would sound very unmoral and may be people will call me coward. However, running away from there only shows that I value my life and am not ready to so easily let it go for anyone. I am sure you have started judging me already but for once throw away and look beyond your hood of so-called morality.
More so, PMS or adultery does not sound that bad to me at first thought( I am only enjoying my life in either cases and taking a sidewalk from the normal. A little pondering folks!) but this euphemised hypocrisy has so badly taken over me that just the idea of these concepts sounding right to me seems sinful. At every step in our day-to-day life we idealize and promote this hypocrisy.
Perhaps if everyone starts to act on their instincts the world would become more chaotic and unsafe place to dwell but I am not looking at the big picture here. I just want to somehow rationalize some of my unpleasant thoughts which make me feel low. Lately I have been getting this feeling that humans are designed to be this way. It is only how well we train ourselves to overcome these coarse thoughts.
In a nutshell, my actions don’t define me as a person rather they only show how well I understand my role as a social being. It is only ironic that society tends to place higher regards for these hypocrite men who call themselves ethical and just.
Do a moral check on yourselves and see if I am wrong. Let your wildest thoughts take shape and tell me they are unfathomable. If you still think your instincts are pristinely moral then, perhaps, you are sunken so deep in this mire that you have actually forgotten the taste of fresh air!
Cheers,
Piyush.
Friday, May 28, 2010
The City that never sleeps!
Mumbai, the city that never sleeps, is a saying so very true and I came to realize that during my tour around this magnificent metropolis a few days back.Even before the break of dawn to the last toll of midnight bell, the place is so alive all the time. Be it any hour of the day, the roads are buzzing with traffic; malls and other hangout spots are swarming with people, one too many. There are times when I begin to think that the city is actually breeding people!
Mumbai also flaunts of having one of the largest and the most well-managed local train facilities in the world. The locals provide a very easy means of commutation that covers the entire wide expanse of 608 sq.kms. at a very affordable price. It exempts you of all the traffic jams, the pollution and the heat albeit the rush of the local trains itself is very energy-sapping.
Mumbai is also a city of vivid contrasts. While it is known to be the home of Bachchans, Khans and Kapoors on one hand and Ambanis and Bajajs on the other, it is also the proud home of one of the largest slums in the world. There are the famous and there are also the notorious. You got it right! While there are celebrities and big business magnets, there is also the underworld industry which keeps the city abuzz through its kidnappings, extortions, threats and the like.
A horde of all the head offices of leading brands across the world, the Share Bazaar and a multitude of upcoming new ventures also makes this city the business capital of India. The city has its fair share of tourist attractions as well like the JuhuChaupati, the Marine Drive, the Gateway of India, the Taj and the Oberoi, the Siddhivinayak temple, Haji Ali, Hanging Gardens,the list is quite magnanimous! One very new dish on the menu was the Ambani house and believe me when I say that it is turning out to be one of the biggest tourist attractions of the city.
On this trip of ‘Mumbai Darshan’ I went a few days back, I got a chance to see all these places but in reality it was not these places that excited me. We were in Bandra and the tour guide was showing us the bunglows and flats of various filmstars and celebrities. I got to see ‘Pratiksha’, ‘Mannat’, ‘Rajan’ and many others. Hope you know what they are! This was exciting to me because I realized that filmstars are also people like us who live in houses made of bricks and stones, who eat the food we eat and go to work like any one of us. Earlier, I considered filmstars as people who are terribly difficult to get associated with or be friends with and one can only see them in movies or award shows! I don’t know why but somehow seeing their residences from so close made me feel that I can also be one of them some day …. A little naïve but I couldn’t help it!
I believe this post is something very different from any of my earlier posts in the way it is written and the subject it deals with. At some point it came out as a boring essay while at some it stated things very obvious. But I am writing after a long time, needed something simple to break the ice. This post is also, in a way, very satisfying! This is because I have always brooded over people who keep talking about their place of residence which to me doesn’t matter so much. Now when I can brag about the place I live, it is in someway pleasing to me, wat say!
All said and done, Mumbai is amazing and no city can compare with it in anyway. You wanna differ with me, be my guest. One can only enjoy what the place has to offer once one has been here so please give your mind and heart a little rest till then…..no hard feeling huh!
Cheers,
Piyush.
Mumbai also flaunts of having one of the largest and the most well-managed local train facilities in the world. The locals provide a very easy means of commutation that covers the entire wide expanse of 608 sq.kms. at a very affordable price. It exempts you of all the traffic jams, the pollution and the heat albeit the rush of the local trains itself is very energy-sapping.
Mumbai is also a city of vivid contrasts. While it is known to be the home of Bachchans, Khans and Kapoors on one hand and Ambanis and Bajajs on the other, it is also the proud home of one of the largest slums in the world. There are the famous and there are also the notorious. You got it right! While there are celebrities and big business magnets, there is also the underworld industry which keeps the city abuzz through its kidnappings, extortions, threats and the like.
A horde of all the head offices of leading brands across the world, the Share Bazaar and a multitude of upcoming new ventures also makes this city the business capital of India. The city has its fair share of tourist attractions as well like the JuhuChaupati, the Marine Drive, the Gateway of India, the Taj and the Oberoi, the Siddhivinayak temple, Haji Ali, Hanging Gardens,the list is quite magnanimous! One very new dish on the menu was the Ambani house and believe me when I say that it is turning out to be one of the biggest tourist attractions of the city.
On this trip of ‘Mumbai Darshan’ I went a few days back, I got a chance to see all these places but in reality it was not these places that excited me. We were in Bandra and the tour guide was showing us the bunglows and flats of various filmstars and celebrities. I got to see ‘Pratiksha’, ‘Mannat’, ‘Rajan’ and many others. Hope you know what they are! This was exciting to me because I realized that filmstars are also people like us who live in houses made of bricks and stones, who eat the food we eat and go to work like any one of us. Earlier, I considered filmstars as people who are terribly difficult to get associated with or be friends with and one can only see them in movies or award shows! I don’t know why but somehow seeing their residences from so close made me feel that I can also be one of them some day …. A little naïve but I couldn’t help it!
I believe this post is something very different from any of my earlier posts in the way it is written and the subject it deals with. At some point it came out as a boring essay while at some it stated things very obvious. But I am writing after a long time, needed something simple to break the ice. This post is also, in a way, very satisfying! This is because I have always brooded over people who keep talking about their place of residence which to me doesn’t matter so much. Now when I can brag about the place I live, it is in someway pleasing to me, wat say!
All said and done, Mumbai is amazing and no city can compare with it in anyway. You wanna differ with me, be my guest. One can only enjoy what the place has to offer once one has been here so please give your mind and heart a little rest till then…..no hard feeling huh!
Cheers,
Piyush.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Thats all folks !!
It is 11 in the morning and I am slowly inching closer to my home. Yes, I am on Dehradun Express, lonesome on the upper birth, with a pounding pain in my heart and teardrops in my eyes, eaten nothing since yesterday and struggling my life out to pass this heat and reach home soon. The ambience could not have been more pathetic but I believe it synchronizes well with my state of mind and is ideal for writing this post.
Maybe I am being redundant, but I am so overwhelmed by this feeling that it deserves some space in my blog just to show that special place my friends hold in my heart. I have already written a post about how subdued I felt that this wonderful BITSIAN life was coming to an end. But this is something different. This is the realization of all those ideas and thoughts which I thought would come rushing to me when the D-day arrives.
And so it arrived. The cabs were bang on time and it actually annoyed me (I did the best in my efforts to delay the start, remember!). It meant that the time for the final good-bye was actually nearing. It was more sad for me because I was the one who had to go back all alone. I really felt jealous of all my friends for the first time just imagining the amount of fun they would be having together while I had to wait for 6 hours on some stupid railway station, accompany my 11-year old cousin home, face the torture of this scorching summer in a sleeper compartment and then reach home the next day at 3 in the morning. It was like I was losing the will to live anymore and I swear it was that bad.
I believe I have never been more sad in my entire life. Those last moments are flashing right in front of my eyes as I write this post and the vision has become all blurred (you know why!)….With the train about to leave,last hugs and goodbyes took place and I was the only one not on that train and waving my friends off from the platform. Every inch the train moved it felt like a knife was being stabbed right through my heart deeper and deeper every time. I was weeping at heart and didn’t even have the courage to face my friends in the very last moments (probably if I would have not done so, I would so have crashed of a cardiac arrest, then and there). It felt like my entire life was collapsing right in front of my eyes and I was helplessly watching it go away and believe me it was not at all poetic.
I knew that my four years of graduation, after this moment, would only be history and this made me even sadder. No more counters(!), no more dhabas, no more sharmas, no more ganga, no more medc…no more friends to hang out with....to me no more life. I can just hope that you guys are fine and not feeling so pathetic and out of life like me. Whatever people say this life is never coming back and I just hope all of us stay and bond the way we used to, for eternity.
To all those special friends,
Nothing in this world can fill this void. I am sorry if I ever hurt anyone of you, you know it was never my intention. Love you all.
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