Life teaches you great lessons every now and then. Sometimes, these are subtle experiences while some other times they are overtures to a life-changing revelation. While sometimes you are inured to these changes, some other times you are left devastated and bewildered.
A new facet of living life has recently found its way into my very own set of life philosophies which I have embraced, endured (sometimes!) and cherished all through – SANS EXPECTATIONS !!
Confused? Well, here’s the deal. For the past several months, there have been innumerable instances where I have felt hurt or upset or angry. Initially, I tried to parry off such feelings and force my thoughts into some semblance of order as I didn’t want to jeopardize what I had over some petty issues. Sadly, though, I couldn’t seem to clear my head off these feelings.
But, then a strange thought flitted through my mind. Retrospecting into those moments of the past made me realize a very important thing. I had found the wicked culpable behind all the disquietude and those pangs of anxiety – Expectations!
Had I not been expecting so much out of a certain individual or a situation, I would have been a much happier soul all these months. It the root cause of all the discomfort one ever has to experience with someone/ something. Put away that feeling of ‘it should have been this way’, ‘you should rather have done this’ or ‘I thought you/it would turn out to be this’ and the ilk.
One might argue that without expectations, we would just be living in a world where it is every man for himself, a world without feeling for others as some believe with love and care come expectations. True, maybe! But problem comes when the other half of your expectation (!) doesn’t reciprocate likewise and you are just left feeling hurt and sorry for yourself.
Believe me when I say, the lesser you expect something of someone, the happier you are. Think of the last time you felt upset or hurt - was it not because you had anticipated something different out of someone/something. Notwithstanding the fact that it is difficult to take in and at the risk of sounding too utopian, I would want to live by this now on – where my only expectations are from myself and I have no qualms about the fact that I would never want to hurt myself, ever!
Well, can’t say about you, but I, sure, am feeling a lot better now - sans anger, sans resentment, sans expectations – just PLACID.
Cheers,
Piyush.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
C'est la vie .. Gimme a break!
Life is getting tougher by the day and I am going crazy by the hour. So much to do and so little idea, rather so little of all those things that it takes, to do what I had long planned. This is surely not the kind of life I had expected to be living when I joined this company and was exhilarated to see my name on the final list of placed students. The chill that ran down my spine then is still fresh!
Hardly had I imagined that location of posting can play such a major role in the coming years. I am stuck up at this place in a remote corner of one of the BIMARU states of India, in a township which inhabits not more than 300 souls. The nearest city or a town to this place is nothing less than 200 kilometers and the township roads are deserted after 9 in the night.
Some of my colleagues at work surprisingly find this place to be an all-enriching experience for the heart and mind away from the hustle and bustle of cities, no trace of pollution and greenery all around. I am disinclined to acquiesce to this pathetic rant.
Working in shifts has also taken its toll. It is more like living life in some cutoff part of the world where you don’t get to see familiar faces for a long time. My weekly offs coincide with Saturdays or Sundays once in 2 months. So, the holidays get even lonelier with not even colleagues around. The best cuisine that is on offer is one at the countryside dhabas and McDonalds and Pizza Hut ads on television are like adding salt to injuries.
But then I resort to one of the most sought after words in times of despair, C’est la vie. That seemed to work pretty well for a few days but even that sounds like one of the most redundant and stupid things to ponder over now.
I bought myself a DSLR thinking that maybe this lonely, so-called peaceful and extravagant greenery would have something to offer on that front. Guess what, this place sucked up to that task in not more than over a couple of months. Come World Cup, IPL or a new season of Roadies or Splitsvilla, nothing seems to lighten my mood. Guess the dent is becoming so indelible with time that beauty in anything what-so-ever is far from noticeable.
I made some great new friends in the company but I was made to believe that certain relationships were attributes of my childishness and naïve perspective of looking at life. It feels like such a slap on the face when you are made to understand that all you have been thinking and doing is, perhaps, immature. Such conversations gave me something to mope upon for a certain amount of time and then it was even more depressing to be at this place.
So I decided to work on the plan I had forged for myself back in the college days. Get through with graduation with a decent CGPA, find myself a job, work for a couple of years gaining some worthwhile experience (hardly any though!) and then find my way through one of the top MBA colleges thereafter.
With Facebook deactivated, Gmail Chat turned off, Cell phone always on silent or switched off mode, the only thing that is keeping me going right now is, perhaps, visualising myself in one of those elite management colleges a year from now.
Let’s see how that works out!
Hardly had I imagined that location of posting can play such a major role in the coming years. I am stuck up at this place in a remote corner of one of the BIMARU states of India, in a township which inhabits not more than 300 souls. The nearest city or a town to this place is nothing less than 200 kilometers and the township roads are deserted after 9 in the night.
Some of my colleagues at work surprisingly find this place to be an all-enriching experience for the heart and mind away from the hustle and bustle of cities, no trace of pollution and greenery all around. I am disinclined to acquiesce to this pathetic rant.
Working in shifts has also taken its toll. It is more like living life in some cutoff part of the world where you don’t get to see familiar faces for a long time. My weekly offs coincide with Saturdays or Sundays once in 2 months. So, the holidays get even lonelier with not even colleagues around. The best cuisine that is on offer is one at the countryside dhabas and McDonalds and Pizza Hut ads on television are like adding salt to injuries.
But then I resort to one of the most sought after words in times of despair, C’est la vie. That seemed to work pretty well for a few days but even that sounds like one of the most redundant and stupid things to ponder over now.
I bought myself a DSLR thinking that maybe this lonely, so-called peaceful and extravagant greenery would have something to offer on that front. Guess what, this place sucked up to that task in not more than over a couple of months. Come World Cup, IPL or a new season of Roadies or Splitsvilla, nothing seems to lighten my mood. Guess the dent is becoming so indelible with time that beauty in anything what-so-ever is far from noticeable.
I made some great new friends in the company but I was made to believe that certain relationships were attributes of my childishness and naïve perspective of looking at life. It feels like such a slap on the face when you are made to understand that all you have been thinking and doing is, perhaps, immature. Such conversations gave me something to mope upon for a certain amount of time and then it was even more depressing to be at this place.
So I decided to work on the plan I had forged for myself back in the college days. Get through with graduation with a decent CGPA, find myself a job, work for a couple of years gaining some worthwhile experience (hardly any though!) and then find my way through one of the top MBA colleges thereafter.
With Facebook deactivated, Gmail Chat turned off, Cell phone always on silent or switched off mode, the only thing that is keeping me going right now is, perhaps, visualising myself in one of those elite management colleges a year from now.
Let’s see how that works out!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Hola, people !
It has been a very long break since my last post and I regret that but there were certain issues which had kept me preoccupied and concerned for the past few months. Even as I write this post, they haunt me!
So be it, I have decided to give myself a break from pondering over such issues viz. my career path, how to get the maximum out of my present job, where do I see myself in the next 5 years, improve upon my existing commitments and relationships (particularly one in that!) and so on.
I came across a very interesting and insightful mantra recently which reads:
“All the work one has to do expands to fill up the entire time available for its completion.” True, isn’t it? Set yourself a deadline and let’s see you complete the work before it. And the bigger problem is, we don’t usually set ourselves deadlines, rather it is that last notch in the timeline after which any failure in the completion of the task leaves us dead!
So, I have devised an easy way out of it. Let not such issues (like the ones mentioned above) which involve more of predictive, imaginative and fatigue causing thought processes take up my entire day because more often than not, they end up in frustrating inanities. Let these issues suck up to me only for that amount of time that I decide for them to! Rest of the day I live life!
It is often said that life is a journey and true happiness can only be attained when one enjoys the journey and not always looks out for the destination, coz there isn’t one! Sounds like stale philosophy stuff, right? But it is stale only because of repeated reading and not overuse!
I remember the time when I was back in college cramming courses (or should I say worried) to find myself a good job …. Or maybe a little further back to the time when I was toiling in my 11th and 12th to make it to a good college for my graduation … A little earlier, perhaps, when there was this tension of standing first in my school in the X Board exams …. Or lets jump right back to where I am now, thinking about making the most of my time at this job and then finding admission in a reputed management college for even better working avenues..
Do you see the problem there? It has always been about planning and more planning, to succeed in the next endeavor I am about to take up (more so by virtue of being a Libran, perhaps), waiting and more waiting for something even better.
Although, it is not wrong to be conscious of what you want from life, and work diligently for it, but the exertion of the endeavor should not cost us the present. Too much of anything is bad. As of now, in my constant effort to excel at my present job in the least possible amount of time and then find a seat in one of those few reputed MBA colleges in India or abroad, I sometimes feel that I am compromising on enjoying the moment at hand. After all, it was the feeling of a lifetime to see my name on the final list of the few selected candidates for this job when the company had come on-campus. Recapitulating those moments sends a wave of thrill down my spine even today.
The fact is, there is always something better available. Aim for it. Strive for it. Achieve it. Search for something better again. Reiterate the loop over and over again. But learn to include in the iteration of the loop the very important code of ‘Enjoying and cherishing what you have already achieved.’
Without the last part, it is just a boring walk, include it and life becomes a cherishable journey. Don’t always be worried about your next move and forgot to live the moment at hand. Be a little mad always!
Fiqrana!
Piyush.
So be it, I have decided to give myself a break from pondering over such issues viz. my career path, how to get the maximum out of my present job, where do I see myself in the next 5 years, improve upon my existing commitments and relationships (particularly one in that!) and so on.
I came across a very interesting and insightful mantra recently which reads:
“All the work one has to do expands to fill up the entire time available for its completion.” True, isn’t it? Set yourself a deadline and let’s see you complete the work before it. And the bigger problem is, we don’t usually set ourselves deadlines, rather it is that last notch in the timeline after which any failure in the completion of the task leaves us dead!
So, I have devised an easy way out of it. Let not such issues (like the ones mentioned above) which involve more of predictive, imaginative and fatigue causing thought processes take up my entire day because more often than not, they end up in frustrating inanities. Let these issues suck up to me only for that amount of time that I decide for them to! Rest of the day I live life!
It is often said that life is a journey and true happiness can only be attained when one enjoys the journey and not always looks out for the destination, coz there isn’t one! Sounds like stale philosophy stuff, right? But it is stale only because of repeated reading and not overuse!
I remember the time when I was back in college cramming courses (or should I say worried) to find myself a good job …. Or maybe a little further back to the time when I was toiling in my 11th and 12th to make it to a good college for my graduation … A little earlier, perhaps, when there was this tension of standing first in my school in the X Board exams …. Or lets jump right back to where I am now, thinking about making the most of my time at this job and then finding admission in a reputed management college for even better working avenues..
Do you see the problem there? It has always been about planning and more planning, to succeed in the next endeavor I am about to take up (more so by virtue of being a Libran, perhaps), waiting and more waiting for something even better.
Although, it is not wrong to be conscious of what you want from life, and work diligently for it, but the exertion of the endeavor should not cost us the present. Too much of anything is bad. As of now, in my constant effort to excel at my present job in the least possible amount of time and then find a seat in one of those few reputed MBA colleges in India or abroad, I sometimes feel that I am compromising on enjoying the moment at hand. After all, it was the feeling of a lifetime to see my name on the final list of the few selected candidates for this job when the company had come on-campus. Recapitulating those moments sends a wave of thrill down my spine even today.
The fact is, there is always something better available. Aim for it. Strive for it. Achieve it. Search for something better again. Reiterate the loop over and over again. But learn to include in the iteration of the loop the very important code of ‘Enjoying and cherishing what you have already achieved.’
Without the last part, it is just a boring walk, include it and life becomes a cherishable journey. Don’t always be worried about your next move and forgot to live the moment at hand. Be a little mad always!
Fiqrana!
Piyush.
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