Thats all folks !!

It is 11 in the morning and I am slowly inching closer to my home. Yes, I am on Dehradun Express, lonesome on the upper birth, with a pounding pain in my heart and teardrops in my eyes, eaten nothing since yesterday and struggling my life out to pass this heat and reach home soon. The ambience could not have been more pathetic but I believe it synchronizes well with my state of mind and is ideal for writing this post.

Maybe I am being redundant, but I am so overwhelmed by this feeling that it deserves some space in my blog just to show that special place my friends hold in my heart. I have already written a post about how subdued I felt that this wonderful BITSIAN life was coming to an end. But this is something different. This is the realization of all those ideas and thoughts which I thought would come rushing to me when the D-day arrives.

And so it arrived. The cabs were bang on time and it actually annoyed me (I did the best in my efforts to delay the start, remember!). It meant that the time for the final good-bye was actually nearing. It was more sad for me because I was the one who had to go back all alone. I really felt jealous of all my friends for the first time just imagining the amount of fun they would be having together while I had to wait for 6 hours on some stupid railway station, accompany my 11-year old cousin home, face the torture of this scorching summer in a sleeper compartment and then reach home the next day at 3 in the morning. It was like I was losing the will to live anymore and I swear it was that bad.

I believe I have never been more sad in my entire life. Those last moments are flashing right in front of my eyes as I write this post and the vision has become all blurred (you know why!)….With the train about to leave,last hugs and goodbyes took place and I was the only one not on that train and waving my friends off from the platform. Every inch the train moved it felt like a knife was being stabbed right through my heart deeper and deeper every time. I was weeping at heart and didn’t even have the courage to face my friends in the very last moments (probably if I would have not done so, I would so have crashed of a cardiac arrest, then and there). It felt like my entire life was collapsing right in front of my eyes and I was helplessly watching it go away and believe me it was not at all poetic.

I knew that my four years of graduation, after this moment, would only be history and this made me even sadder. No more counters(!), no more dhabas, no more sharmas, no more ganga, no more medc…no more friends to hang out with....to me no more life. I can just hope that you guys are fine and not feeling so pathetic and out of life like me. Whatever people say this life is never coming back and I just hope all of us stay and bond the way we used to, for eternity.

To all those special friends,

Nothing in this world can fill this void. I am sorry if I ever hurt anyone of you, you know it was never my intention. Love you all.

Piyush.